To escape criticism

-Do nothing

-Say nothing

-Be nothing

Neglect

I have rather neglected my blog recently. Have been realllyyyy busy with uni and work and everything just kinda got ontop of me.

BUT

ITS CHRISTMAS!! (We'll in 20 minutes)

No uni for like a month and theres christmas aswell, good times.

Got the christmas tree up and the fairy lights on. Going to wrap the christmas presents soon, got the wrapping paper ready and the little bows to.

Given out christmas cards with chocolate pennies and sprinkles.

The weather is even christmasy

In other words, excited !!!!!!

Just because...

I didnt say it at the time does not mean I don't know how luck i am

I dont care how i look as long as Im having fun

Im not normal

I dont like the same things

We dont always agree

I did badly does not mean im going to give up

Its bad for me

I work like a maddy

Any thoughts what the ends of the sentances might be ?

Baby its cold outside

Oh the weather outside is frightful (8)

Why Winters Wonderful

With the current weather I thought I'd mention some of things that make this time of year lovely:

The crunch of snow beneath your shoes
Wellies
Long lies in the dark
Christmas !
Fairy Lights

Cards
Red noses
Seeing animal foot prints in the snow
Seeing someones HUGE footprints compared to your tiny footprints
Un touched snow that just has to be jumped in

Snowball fight !!
The way people watch their breathe
Seeing the people who make it to uni
Scarfs and gloves
Regaining feeling in your feet after a long day

The adventure of trying to get home each day
How people become six everytime they see the snow start
The facebook divide between those who drive and those who don't
Snowmen in weird places
Getting to look a bit shitty for the sake of being warm

Small Smiles

- Getting your makeup right first time
- Trying something on and it fitting just right
- A passing hello in a corridor
- Someone offering you chocolate when you really need it
- Radiator pants

- A comedian who is really funny

- Finding someone else who likes the same rubbish film you do

- A text just to let you know someones thinking about you

- When your hair just sits right

- The snooze button

- Cold side of the pillow
- Waking up and realising you dont need to get up for hours
- Finally submitting the essay you've been stressing about
- Going to bed really early
- Facebook pop

- People falling asleep on the train

- Train banter

- Singing like a fruit loop

- Cleaning something thats really been bothering you

- WEEKENDS!!

- Accents

- When someone quotes something you understand

- Made up words

- Lightbulb moments

- Showers in the dark

Sometimes in life it rains and sometimes it pours. But when these things happen ill be there with an umbrella. I cant change the fact its raining but i can help keep you dry.

"Because when the sun shines, we shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend"

Greatness can come from within, you just need to find it.

A Rocket To The Moon: Like We Used To [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

Pretty is temporal but beauty is eternal

Collage !!

Yes I'm at Uni and i was cutting out and sticking but don't they look pretty !






Put wee laminated covers on them and everything =] Simple things

Positivity

Ever noticed i very very very very rarely blog about anything negative ?

I think I have matured in the last year beyond belief. Left school just over a year ago and have had quiet a year and a bit.

Been to France
This taught me alot about what's important in life and what isn't. As as experience I didn't really enjoy it but it was diffenetly worth it. It taught me so many things it may have taken me years to realise otherwise. And yes I was miserable 90% of the time but it was valuable and its given me a positive attitude

Been working like a mad woman
I love my job in all honesty, except maybe the uniform. I love the banter. I love the people. I love always having something to do. I love the unpredictability of it - when you answer that phone you have no idea who's on the other end of it. Oh yeah and discount pizza - yummy =]

University
Big step, a little behind everyone else with it but hey ho. Freshers has been and gone and commuting isn't as bad as i thought it would be, even the getting up at six in the morning bit. Haven't decided wither i'm enjoying it yet or not, think its too early to tell still.

Letters

If i could write a letter to my younger self i wonder what id tell her. Maybe :

- Don't listen to them, they have no idea what they're on about most of the time
- The friends will come with time, accept her shes no friend to you
- The spots will fade, eventually
- Enjoy your school years, they are some of the best times you will have.
-Just take the pills, sea sickness is not fun
- Don't tell them about that crush
- Buy nicer socks!

But why is nearly everything in that list something I'd warn against doing. Everything that i did and went through when i was younger made me into the person I am today and I'm fairly glad I'm me, i cant imagine being anyone else.

"Don't waste the person you are"

Perception

Isn't it strange to think that others may percieve you as a completely different person than who you are. People may assume that your the upbeat bubbly one but you dont always feel like that, not all the time.
You get frustrated and angry, you cry more than you probably should, you doubt yourself, you over analyse everything.
Then you realise your not helping yourself. So you break the problems down into bitesize chunks, you change the stuff you can and you smile like a fruit loop and find the brightside in the stuff you cant.
You find the daft little things that make your day and you realise that your current situation is not forever. Things will get better ad in the mean time you write about it in the hope someone else will read it and realise that they are not the only one who feels that way.

What makes me me?

My dodgy laugh
My slightly manly sence of humour
My untamable hair
My use of the phrase "the other day"
My stomach that growls during exams and lectures
My flat feet
My diabolical spelling
Putting others above myself
My 5 foot 1 height
My weird music taste
My randomly swelling knees
My ridiculous phone voice
My pale non tanning skin
My inability to sit still
Being the proud owner of the coldest feet in the world

Old before my time ?

Maybe I'm just old before my time but i just don't see the appeal in going out and getting absolutely hammered. It costs so much money, it puts you in harms way and it makes you feel like crap the next day. I've been to a couple of partys where people seem to take it as a challenge to drink as much as they can. Guys drinking crates of beer and bottles of vodka and changing from normal, nice level-headed boys to loud idiots. And where there's guys drinking there will enevitably be girls trying to match them sip for sip drink for drink, never mind the fact they weigh half as much as the guys they will insist they can drink as much.

Pretty soon a drinking game will be suggested then all hell breaks lose. As always someone will push themselves that little bit too far and will spend the rest of the night propped up against a toiler looking for hughie and roulf.
People will wander off and make, or destroy, relationships in a drunken haze. Maybe no-one will remember, maybe everyone will.
Personally i don't see the point, it's not big and its not clever. I wonder what it will take for people to realise this.

"One reason why I don't drink is because i wish to know when i'm having a good time" - Nancy Astor

"Insanity - Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"
Albert Einstein

The present is a break up? The futures true love.

Its not the location that matters its the journey.

Every step we take in life leads up towards where we need to be. Every decision will shape our life.

Putting in an application for a job you didn't think you'd get
Making the effort of going to the interview
Hearing that you got the job
Deciding wither or not you really want the job
Taking the job
Not taking the job
Going
Nearly backing out
Enjoying it
Hating it
Loathing it
Sticking it out
Wanting to come home
Having fun on a wee mini vacation
Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel
Coming home
Feeling lost
Food for thought
New job !!
Decisions for University
Waiting
Waiting
Still Waiting
University !!!!!

I spent a lot of time abroad being miserable, feeling so bad for myself like the whole world was against me but I am so glad i stuck it out because it changed my perspective on life. That there's no point being miserable it achieves nothing, if you don't like whats happening around you change it.

Learn from your experiences and share your knowledge, everything has the opportunity to teach you something, you just need to be smart enough to listen.

A little more about me

I always run up the stairs at night because the thought of someone seeing me through the front door without me knowing terrifies me.

I'll have legs like a mountain goat by the end of the year

I wouldn't mind being a couple of inches taller

Being alone was the scariest part

One vodka and I'm hungover

I was born with black hair

My middle name comes from the Royal Victoria Infirmary in Glasgow

I dislike any music with the word "core" in the genre

I really hate cupcakes

I sort of miss working in retail

I paint my nails when I'm not in work because it makes me realise i have a day off

I love the new weetabix advert

Ive eaten nearly a whole cherry madeira cake today

Jump and the net will appear

Its all up beat and Awww

Never backwards only forwards

Things that are eaiser than contacting SAAS...

Learning Klingon

Avoiding Mormons by being "out"

Advanced Algebra

Stopping the tide from going out

Memorising the complete works of Shakespeare

Watching "Vantage Point" without falling asleep

Finding a Sean Connery film where he actually changes his accent

Not laughing at all at a Pixer film, not even a little

Finding sense in an Owl City Song

Nailing Jelly to a tree

Don't let the forest blind you to the trees

Nonsensical lyrics

Oh how many songs have lyrics that don't really make any sense. Owl city is one of the masters of this but the most recently discovered random song has got to by Morgan Page ft Lissie. But oh how i loves it.

Giddy up and go
We'll go so far as we please

Giddy up and gold mine
Different place, different time
All the stars are in their prime
Pastel trailer park, stars so bright to hide the dark
All is quiet in the yard

Giddy up and gold dust, all the cars turn to rust
You've got no means for wanderlust
Pastel trailer park, stars so bright to hide the dark
All is quiet in the yard

If you are so frequently in love
If you prefer it all to me then my love
You go down the longest road to nowhere
You pull it apart and you're just left there

Photo by Kieron Melley - http://www.facebook.com/?tid=1406922943054&sk=messages#!/album.php?aid=2063323&id=1259764000

Never be afriad of doing what you love

You may not be the best at it but you love it and enjoy it so why not do it.

I cant bake a cake that rises and goes all spongy to save myself and if it does rise it burns on the top by the time the middles cooked but i love all the effort that goes into making said crappy cake. Licking the uncooked cake mix off the spoon, measuring ingredients and sieving flour. The smell of a baking cake just feels so homely.

Or drawing, again not amazing. I cant sit down and create a masterpiece that deserves to be framed and sold for millions but i like being creative, see earlier blogs, and drawing is relaxing. It may never look like it did in my head but its an hour or two well spent.

(Its pop art its meant to be minimalist but dam i cant draw fingers)


Or perhaps singing. There's a song for every mood and while i will never in a million years get a record contract i enjoy belting it out, wither its at work or prancing round my bedroom as i clean.

“There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.”

"Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood" - Oscar Wilde

All my status updates for Facebook ive never got round to posting

Lets face it but know one cares :

Hazel Armstrong-

• Has the most persistent and annoying cough, ever.
• Needs to delete all the duplicates in her itunes
• Needs to figure out how to style her hair after getting it cut
• Always seems to blog in threes
• Is enjoying have a wee rummage through her itunes
• Has discovered last fm. message boards
• Should really be asleep since shes starting work early tomorrow
• Is wondering if its possible to be too upbeat
• Is burning the candle at both ends
• Blogs too much
• Is chasing daddy long legs round her room

Out of tweets, for today at least =p

Finding Awesomeness

In everyday like there are little nuggets of awesomeness:

- Finally listening to a song after it being stuck in your head all day
- Knowing an answer in a quiz that no one else knew
- Discovering new music that you've had for ages
- Rediscovering old music
- Making an someone smile
- Watching someone trying really hard and failing at not giggling
- Skipping
- Getting a whiff of food that smells really good
- Crisp and cheese sandwiches
- 100%

Today and a little bit of yesterdays awesomeness.

Top Five of a few things...

See if you can figure out what they're of....

1. Pirate of the Carribean
2. Secret Window
3. Alice in wonderland
4. Corpse Bride
5. Sleepy hollow


1. Purple
2. Black
3. Scarlett
4. Blue
5. Brown

1. Shoulders
2. Neck
3. Sides
4. Checks
5. Lips

1. Msn
2. Facebook
3. Music
4. Reading
5. Sleep

1. Driving
2. University
3. Needles
4. Mannequins
5. Spiders

1. Adam Lambert
2. Owl City
3. Fine frenzy
4. Marina and the Diamonds
5. Ellie Goulding

1. Spice girls
2. Steps
3. Boyzone
4. Brittany Spears
5. Vengaboys

1. Gena Showalter
2. Kresley Cole
3. JK Rowling
4. Suzanne Collins.
5. Rachel Vincent

1. Laugh
2. Touch
3. Thoughts
4. Dreams
5. Smile

1. New year
2. Music
3. Tartan
4. Scenery
5. Glasgow

Figured any of them out yet?

Journeys at Night

"This is the way to start a new life, with a hurricane lamp shining at the top of the mast, and the coast-line disappearing behind one as the world lies sleeping. Making a journey a night is more wonderful than anything in the world"
-Moominpappa


And yes i did just quote the moomins =p

You picked me

One, two, three
Counting out the signs we see
The tall buildings
Fading in the distance
Only dots on a map
Four, five, six
The two of us a perfect fit
You're all mine, all mine

And all I can say
Is you blow me away

Like an apple on a tree
Hiding out behind the leaves
I was difficult to reach
But you picked me
Like a shell upon a beach
Just another pretty piece
I was difficult to see
But you picked me
Yeah you picked me

So softly
Rain against the windows
And the strong coffee
Warming up my fingers
In this fisherman's house
You got me
Searched the sand
And climbed the tree
And brought me back down

And all I can say
Is you blow me away

Like an apple on a tree
Hiding out behind the leaves
I was difficult to reach
But you picked me
Like a shell upon a beach
Just another pretty piece
I was difficult to see
But you picked me
Yeah you picked me

Step right over the line and onto borrowed time

Ever second is a gift so why spend it being miserable ?

Almost Lover

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget
these images,
No I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind

So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

Flirting

The Hi, the how are you, the questions, the answers, the nods, the disagreements, the giggles, the smiles, the "i cant believe...", the looks, the texts, the secrets, the gossip, the touching, the laughing, the singing, the "cant get him out of my head", the late night msn-ing, the extra five minutes to get ready, the plans, the agreement, the spontaneity, the butterflies, the anticipation, the kisses, fingers dancing over skin, tracing circles, the hand holding, the compliments, the unexpected, the twinkle, the glow.

The Beginning

It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness

The flicker of light can bring hope to the soul, illuminate the way and ease the suffering.

To do's and dones

Some things Ive done and some things Ive still to do

Done

Lived in a tent for 3 months
Seen a shooting star (wished on it and everything)
Simply lay and watched the stars
Seen Niagara falls
Been in a canoe
Ridden a horse
Learned to drive (nearly)
Been in a plane
Been on a cruise
Had an epiphany
First Kiss
Got into University
Cried at a sad movie
Been to Disney
Sang Karaoke

Still do to...

Go to Paris (everyone should see the Eiffel tower)
Get married
Move out, and stay out this time
Night out in a Big City
Buy a couch (i don't know why but this feels like a milestone in life)
Own my first house
Work abroad
Word for Disney
Graduate
Buy a really nice pair of heels
Take off somewhere and not know where I'm going
Attend a half decent gig
Fall asleep under the stars
See the sunrise with someone
Pull an all-nighter

16 Things I'd like to know....

- WHY one side of my oven is hotter than the other?
- IF I'll ever have another epiphany or if its a once only deal
- WHY my stomach only ever rumbles when it really ought to be silent e.g. in product exams?
- WHO actually reads my blog?
- IF the world will truly end in 2012
- WHY my feet are always freezing, am I part lizard?
- WHO was Jesus?
- HOW life would be different if one minor change was made in my past.
- IS there such a thing as soul mates?
- IS there truly a god?
- WHERE do all the socks go in the washing machine?
- WHY is the cold side of the pillow common knowledge but not the cold side of a duvet ?
- DO other people have "sexy days" where they just feel a million dollars?
- WHY my computer refused to turn on today
- IF I'll end up happy

10 people i couldnt live without

These are not specific people in my life rather they are personality's that everyone will have in their lives.

The joker - Everyone will have a friend who is known far and wide for their comedy, The type of person who will make your eyes water and your checks ache. They will lift you up when you are sad and will be able to giggle to yourself for weeks because of the stupid stuff they did/said.

The Guru - Need advice? Ask this friend. They're like a tarot card and a fortune cookie all rolled into one. They always seem to know what should be done - although doing it isnt always the easiest thing.

The shoulder to cry on - Different from the Guru in oh so many ways. This friend will sit and listen to you sob your heart out, supply chocolates and say reassuring rubbish when it all goes wrong. From ex's to exams this friend will be on hand with tissues.

The IT help desk - The highly computer literate person. The one who advices about software and can help when you i-pod refuses to play fair. Called upon for movie nights and gaming sessions. Often found due to the fact their technology is the source of Global warming.

The Driver - This one loves their car and driving it. They organise the outtings. Pick up the people. Deals with the days. Expect random inpulsive trips to Tescos at funny times of the day/night. We love this person because without them we would do nothing.

The party animal - The one that gets you in the party mood. Usually they consume mass amounts of alcohol but as a result they always have an interresting story or two to tell about their adventures. Can also be fun to "tell them what they did last night" but be sure to spice it up a bit. They naturally find themselves in some truly unexplainable situations and are often asked questions in the style of "you woke up WHERE!?"

The maverick - The friend who seems to lead a completely different life when your not with them. Keep an eye on them, possible MI5 agent

The radiator - The person whos personality just makes you instantly happy. Like the sun coming out from behind a cloud in winter this person lights up your life. A true joy to be around.

The separated at birth? - You are two halves of a whole. Its a sickeningly lovely friendship. I finish others sentances, wear each others clothes, know each other inside out kind of deal. Aka the "best friend"

The "I love them, I hate them friend" - You will spend alot of time listening to this friend discuss how much they love *insert current other halevs name here* followed by helping them plot *insert former, never to be trusted, talked to or otherwise acknowledged person who ruined their life, aka ex's name here* final downfall. Its a rollercoaster ride with this one but we do it because in the end we want them to be happy.

If life were a fair ground....

The house of mirrors reflects our teenage years. So many different directions to go, so many people will offer their opinion on whats best for you which often just disorientates you further. In the end you will emerge and hopefully be happy with the person you'll see everyday in the mirror.

The log flume represents one of the biggest hurdle people will face often in our teenage years. Sex. Basically a lot of build up and in the end you end up back where you started just a little wetter.

The waltzers are the horrible bit between school and life. Further Education. Trying to deal with university, a social life and work can be complicated. Things coming at you from alll directions, just when you think your sure one thing will happen something totally different happens. In short utter confusion.



The carousel is the daily grind. Not much happening but while its nothing remarkable you can still enjoy the ride and watch the world calmly slip past till you get to move onto bigger and better things.



The love story, The rollercoaster ride full of ups and downs. The build up for the fall, the moments that make your heart beat faster and your stomach do back-flips, Once its starts you are powerless to change the course. You can close your eyes and be blind to the inevitable route ahead or you can enjoy the knowledge that what happens will happen so you might as well enjoy the trip while it lasts.


The haunted house. Time to face your fears. You may realise you've reached middle age and not achieved half as much as you set out to do. The mid life crisis allows us to refocus on what we truly want to achieve. Hopefully when you leave the house and are re-united with the light of day your ready to make changes.

Loss. Carnival games make us realise that sometimes no matter how hard we try, no matter how many hoops we toss or cans we shoot somethings are not ment to be.

The drop zone. Facing reality with this one. What goes up must come down. The view from the top is worth the ending and hell you've enjoyed the ride that got you there.

50 Things

I Love....

- My little purple i-pod
- Lightening storms
- Rustling bed sheets

- Rain hitting the canvas of a tent
- The Irish accent
- Laughing till I cry
- Sweet texts
- Fairy Lights

- 'We no speak Americano' Pitchers dance routine
- Cutting sandwiches into tiny pieces
- My clio
-City scapes
- Stuarts Photography
-Curly Hair
- Dancing like a fruit loop
-Matching underwear

- Romeo and Juliet
- When someone else has heard of a band i like
- Chances
- My shoulders being kissed
- DVD Days
- Venice
- Long showers when your cold
- Pictures that make you smile

-Collage wall
-Handwritten notes
-Doodling
-Clear Skin
-Going swimming
-Ben & Jerrys
-My job (Geek i know)
-Paranormal Romance

- Mock the week
- Postsecret
- Facebook/msn
- Reminiscing
- Being organised
- New pens
- Helping people
- Singing

- Rock Pooling
-My Parents
-Pub Quiz
-Long lies
- Work Banter
- Disney Films
- Getting genuinely scared by horror films
- Funny Guys
- Trashy American TV - JERRY JERRY!

Secrets

Are secrets really secrets or just things that dont come up in small talk. Perhaps if people were more open then they would be happier, people could truely be who they are, Theres so many people today who probably feel the need to disguise who they truely are to be "accepted" but if your not being yourself if it worth it?

So in the spirit of things some facts you may not know about me:

- I know i cant dance to save myself but I love going out and doing it regardless.
- I help others solve their problems because I wish someone was there to help me solve mine.
- I'm glad i was bullied when i was younger, it made me a stronger better person.
- I love to read paranormal romance books and i was introduced to them via the twilight saga, i read and loved the first three books before they were popular but id never admit to it now.
- I love scaring myself with horror films but while i can watch people get killed in horrible and gruesome ways i still maintain the scariest film ive ever seen was sixth sence.
- Im terrified of needles and manniquins
- The idea of anyone figuring me out scares me more than you can believe.
-I make a mean dark chocolate and orange cake
- My DVD's are arranged in colour order
- Since Ive started blogging ive neglected twitter.
- The person who stole my drawing in standard grade art is the reason i passed =]

Reasons to be cheerful 18th July

- The ability to make my mum laugh till she crys.
- Finished work early
- Strange four way phone calls
- BBC Iplayer
- My friends understanding of my almost obsessive need to plan ahead.
- The chance to relive a love from my childhood.
- Throwing out old school work one page at a time - If i ever need those history notes again I'll kick myself but how standard grade math notes and 1st and 2nd year frence vocabulary jotters made it this long ill never know.

Simple things that make my day =]

Well weathered wisdom

"Under this national raincloud
I'm getting soaked to the skin
Trying to find my umbrella
But I don't know where to begin"

Sometimes it just feels like the clouds have descended upon your life and it will never get better. We may realise there's a problem and not know where to start to fix it or maybe were so wrapped up in feeling overwhelmed we don't even realise like walking in the rain and not realising your crying until your out of the rain. Maybe the problem fixes itself, the clouds descend but don't open and we don't realise how close we were to getting soaked.

"Constantly bailing out water
But still like I'm gonna sink"

Sometimes it just all get ontop of us and suddenly the waters above your knees before you even realise it was there in the first place.

That's when we get out the buckets and teacups and start bailing as fast as possible, take it one container at a time and suddenly there's only the puddle in the bottom and then you can pull the plug on your troubles, let them just trickle away.

However the rain brings good to. Having problems is common in life and they will either make you or break you. Sometimes problems being brought to light allows you to clear the air, like a thunderstorm, so you can warm your heart in the sunshine once more, sit back and enjoy the glorious weather having seen the destruction the storm can bring.

"We are often surrounded by wisdom in songs just waiting to be interpreted"

Mailed Musings

For a couple of years now every Sunday I have spent ten minutes or so reading possibly one of the best blogs on the internet - post secret.

Founder Frank Warren invites people to write their secrets, something they've never told anyone before on a postcard and mail it to him.

The secrets range from a simply scrawled sentence on a blank background to beautifully drawn illustrations.

As you may expect when you invite people to share their deepest secrets you get a really broad spectrum of thoughts. Secrets about love, hate,life, death, joy sorrow from the young, the old, the married, the single, the divorced and the widowed.

The success of the blog has lead to individual spin off sites for non english secrets from many different country's.

The All America rejects used actual postcards for their video "dirty little secret".

There are art exhibitions all over America, conventions and a suicide hotline funded by the site.
Marriage proposals have been accepted at post secret events and secrets of a lifetime revealed.
Lives have even been saved by the inspirational messages. A few Sundays ago someone posted what can only be described as a suicide note:




The members of the postsecret community threw themselves into a collective effort to save this poor soul. A facebook group called "please don't jump" sprung up filled with kind and hopeful words; an event was held on the golden gate bridge to try and raise awareness of its reputation as the most popular place in the world to commit suicide and to increase pressure on the government to build a suicide barrier.

I am proud to be a member of an online community filled with so much love.

www.postsecret.com

Cross your t's and dot your i's

When you consider a whole class of five year olds is taught to write in the same way by the same person its amazing all the different handwriting styles people develope.

-Big and loopy
-Tiny and neat
-A messy scrawl
- Slanty
-Straight
-Joined up
-Separated

I love to write. There's just something so relaxing about seeing a pen glide across a page and leaving sweeping lines behind it. There's something pretty about a full page of text in the same neat handwriting with no tipex or crossed out words.
Awesomely geeky.

What do people see?

Perception is a funny thing isn't it?

Take for instance this picture.

Do you see a dead end, a lonely place with no turning back?

Or do you see the dip where the path falls before rising once more into the open field. The end of a long struggle before finally feeling freedom, the sunshine on your skin and the grass beneath your feet?

How people think they are perceived and how they are actually perceived are perhaps two completely different things. I see myself as being accommodating but perhaps others see me as being a soft touch. I see myself as outgoing but perhaps others see me as being too loud. Or perhaps i see myself as being shy when i meet new people but others may see this as being endearing.

It goes beyond even emotional levels, to the physical as well. While someone may think of they're bum being too big or being to short others may have quite the opposite view point.

We cant always assume that what we mean to be and what we actually are are the same thing.

Is Romance dead?

Everyone sees romance differently.

It might be letting a girl go through a door first, it might be sending flowers, it might be sending a text to let them know your thinking of them. In the age of technology we live in it doesn't take much for people to let another person know whats on their mind.

But with this age of technology and openness there seems to come a darker side.

The side of the internet where teenagers are bombarded with images of sex, where adverts for adult chat rooms and page three model backgrounds are advertised alongside tescos on websites. Where young girls are emailed by strangers with disgusting sexual requests with no regards to their mental well being. Where people can request pictures and total strangers can see any pictures posted.

In a world that is more open than it was even a mere 10 years in terms of talking about sex the idea of with-holding details of your sex life from friends seems almost daft. With so many people openly discussing it it can make it seem like such a normal part of life and for people in stable mature relationships that's fine but when young teenagers see older siblings and people they respect bragging about how many people they've slept with it puts a pressure on them that wasn't there before.

What happened to when a boy could be sweet for the sake of it without him having an angle or wanting something in return?

What is wrong with just wanting to make a girl smile or laugh. Sending daft little texts to let them know your thinking of them, recommending music that they may like. Even just taking the time to ask them about they're day. I don't want to make it sound like all guys are only after one thing, but sometimes i wonder....

Small and Cute

No not me, my pretty little clio =D

Today Im greatful for...

- Unlimited texts.
- Daytime TV
- Walking into strange conversations.
- The prep step, making things a little easier for little people.
- Tiny tubs of ben and jerrys (mini indulgences)
- The fact some people have larger cars, i doubt eight people would have fitted so comfortably into a clio.
- Fairy lights, for making late nights a little more relaxing.

Lifes Lyrics

In the words of a friend considering its nearly four in the moring :
"insomnia hits you like a brick to the face , productivity just spews out"

I always feel most awake at night when im ment to be fast asleep dreaming of god knows what - lizards apparently.

So the process that brought me to tonights creation.

Looking at something similar to this on lastfm.com which i thought looked rather cool.

How words can be more than just words depending how theyre written. We all know someone whose hand writing just makes anything and everything to write look better.

So with the thought that words could be art i started thinking about lyrics. Feeling in a mellow mood so was listenin to Kina Grannis's song "Valentine" and was thinking about how the sound flows. So started writing the lyrics but in a spiral, starting in the middle and working out. Once i did that i realised it was like the middle of a flower so i expanded. Each petal is a fairly complete song, usually without chorus and plus a few spelling mistakes (didnt want to use tipex on it)

And well this was the end result.

Used the following nice happy lovey dovey songs :

Kina Grannis - Valentine
A Fine Frenzy - You picked me
Take That - Rule the world
Gregory and the Hawk - Boats and birds
Nat King Cole - L.O.V.E
Paramore - Only exception
Katie Melau - Nine million Bicycles.
Plain white t's - 1234
Taylor Swift - Love Story

Rather enjoyed doing this though so might do something similiar tomorrow night.


Thinking of using it on the front of a note book or something like below.

ipods - a window into the soul ?

Have you ever thought about how personal an ipod is?

I must admit it im a bit of an ipod rapist. If you produce an ipod, iphone or other music player at a party, in a pub, generally near me im going steal it and have a rummage to see what you listen to.
I will compare your music to mine and probably say "i've never heard of them" alot.

Music is such a personal thing. When you consider how readily avaliable music is for downloading in the 21st centuary an ipod is ever changing. Every song in there tells a story.

The music you listen to when your chilling out with a good book and chocolate.
The music that makes you think of guys.
The music that makes you remember the good times and gets you excited for the future.
The music from your childhood.
The music that makes your hips sway sensually (as if i could pull such a thing off) and the music that makes you jump around like an idiot (sound more like me?)

The soundtrack that defines your life is stored in something as small as a match box.

And if you got the pun in the blog name, congratulations your a bit of a geek, like me =D

Driving myself round the twist

Finally started driving lesson. First lesson was terrifying, i didn't know the car was going to move when it did. Getting used to it now though which is always useful. Went to have a wee noisy at cars aswell which was actually quite interresting even if it did envolve alot of pointing and going "That cars a pretty colour!"
Dont really want a specific carm although there was a cute little fiat punto with a couple of minor dents that i rather liked.
Thinking getting a car soon might be useful because it seems kind of pointless to spend twenty odd quid an hour to essentially practice the basics. Just need to persuade dad that he can get in a car with me without dying.
Still tryin to figure out how the clutch/ break thing works when coming to a stopto aprk but getting there.
Getting into the habit of watching people now whenever they drive, sorry guys.
Now whose fault is it my left hand wanders ?!

Roads

Life is all a journey isnt it?

When you first set out you dont really know where you're going, how youll get there or who'll you meet along the way. Its all twists and turns, ups and downs and a great adventure.
I feel sorry for people who seem to set theyre life goal at about 8 and stick to it to the letter until theyve done it. When i was little i wanted to be a teacher then i wanted to be in marketing then i gave up on the idea of going to university and buggered off to France to live in a tent.

Some people have a view of what should happen in life that by 16 youll be dating someone and youll be madly in love. 18 youll be at university studying. 20 youll be married. 25 youll have kids and be living with someone you love with all your heart.

If life happened like that it would be miserable. Life should always be unpredictable.

Someone asked me what i want from life, if i could have anything what it would be. My simple answer was "happiness" what ever shape it takes its still happiness.

"People take different roads to fulfilment and happiness, just becuase they're not on your road does not mean they've gotten lost"

Which is true, everyone is different. Some people may find happiness in love, in a hobby, in a job or in creating life.

My biggest hope is that i get happiness in my life.

"Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road but when many people walk it the road comes into existance"

Live in Lizards

I seem to be accumulating more things with lizards on them. Rather like my little collection though, nice and colourful.



This was my first Lizard, all the way from the Carribean none the less from my aunt. I think its in Iguanan (apologise if ive spelt that wrong) which i believe is the symbol of the island, like the thistle is to Scotland.



I got a little metal lizard from a friend when she went on holiday from tenerife.



And for my birthday i got not one, not two, but three metal lizards on a set of hooks thats yet to be attached to anything but currently sits infront of my books.


I love how colourful they all are, maybe they're the universes way for apologising for the beareded dragon that jumped at me.... ?

Green tea?

Thought id share my little bookcase garden.



I dont know why but its the sorta random thing id expect to be in alice in wonderland, yeah i dont quite know where the connection comes from either but i rather like my little plants, feel kinda bad though cause some of them arent in the best of health although the little ivy seems to be quite hardy, same cant be said for the rather brown grass.


1 Tea cup + 1 plant = a little CO2 absorber

Language

Ever had the urge to write but not had the wors?
Or know you have to write but not known what to say, 2000 word essay anyone?

Its amazing that 26 symbopls (at least in the english language) can be used to express anything our soul desires.

Who decided on the shape of the symbols that millions, billions of people recognise?

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Who decided what they should sound like ?

Why they sound different in other languages even though they are still written the same way ?

Other languages can look like art, chinease for example or ancient egyptian - when your letters are fish and birds how do you pronounce them ?

Gone are the days when writting and reading were for the provealedge few. Everyone in Britain has the opertunity to learn, an oppertunity that many take for granted. Across the country literacy rates are falling yet in other countried children walk miles every day to cram themselves into over filled class rooms with the hope that an education can change their lives.

I do not understand how a person can't enjoy cuddling up in bed or lying in the sun with a good book. By not being able to read people are depriving themselves of the chance of a life time.
- To walk through a closet and end up in Narnia.
- To recieve that letter written with the emerald green writing inviting you to study at Hogwarts.
- To feel the butterflies as Romeo swears his undying love for Juliet.

Yes i know theyre all films but an hour and a half of CGI does not make up for a rainy afternoon on the couch with chocolate and a well worn, bent pages, crinkley spined book.



I know its ironic that the post all about literacy probably contains the most spelling mistakes to date. I like writing but my spelling will always leave something to be desired.

Just had to share this....

An online nation ...?

Having a discussion today with my grandparents when i realised that the internet is still such a foreign place to some people. For people of my generation it is just accepted that the internet is there, its a massive pressence in some peoples lives, facebook in the morning, msn in the evening, twitter in between.
If someone says they dont have facebook we look at them like theyre still using a horse and cart. Why do we feel the need to live online?

Beautiful sunny weather outside and so many people are sitting in the house updating statuses about the nice weather and how bored they are. Why not be out in the nice weather, at the beach in the park, going a walk?

In our haste to appear popular, always online, always texting, always phoning we are doing the complete opposite. Even when we're out with friends we are still texting, updating status - this has lead to the new internet phenomenum of "online friends". People who we will text or email or talk to on facebook but when we see them in person we dont even smile, wave or say hello but we will text them once theyve walked past or say to them on facebook "i saw you today". A never ending cycle where ipod and phones are the safety net that stop us from looking alone, blinding us to the fact that in our haste to make ourselves seem popluar we are actually isolating ourselves.

Isn't music marvelous?

In a few short lyrics every feeling under the sun can be conveyed. A song can make you smile, make you cry or yell TUNE!!!

Songs can remind you of the good times and the bad times.

Black eyed peas - Ive got a feeling will always remind me in France cause it played constantly.
The killers - Are we human will always make me smile
Jason Mraz - Im yours will always make me feel better even when im in the foulest of moods.

When you find a new song you like you listen to it on repeat until you have the lyrics down to a fine art (current song of the moment is hey, soul sister by train - it makes me smile and its gonna be huge)

When your out and "that" song comes on you grab your friends and run to the dance floor, you just cant help yourself.

The slightly retro song that makes people around you dance and sing, when the pub unites as one and sings and dances like its the 1920's (paulo nautini, pencil full of lead)

The songs you sing in the shower, the songs that you listen to when your in yourself cause you know you shoulnt like them but do, the songs you dance to when your getting ready for a night out, the songs you just wish the rest of the world had heard.

Music is amazing, it connects people in a way words alone cant. It doesnt matter if you dont speak the langauage of the song everyone whose ever listened to music can understand the beat.

A world without music would be just plain dull.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

I feel very old school becaue i did hand write this post at half one in the morning last night then word processed it today.

Ever have so many thoughts tumbling through your heas you don't even have time to think about them properly before theyre chased out by the next one?

I'm just fed up with the same routine day in, day out. Sleep, work, sleep, work, pub with friends. But its always the same night, the same pub, same thing.
I know it will change but as owl city say " Is that the light at the far end of the tunnel. Or just the train?"
I dont want to always fall into the same patterns. I want to do some new things. Travel, see the world. DO SOMETHING!!
I feel like my life isnt getting ontop of me, its surrounding me - I,ve started dreaming about my job, hearing telephones ring in my sleep.
So I've decided to make some changes to try and stop myself feeling like this:

- I'm going to book driving lessons.
- I'm going to make plans for when im not workin come hell or high water.
- And I'm going on at least one holiday before the year is over. I really don't care what i do, take the train through to edinburgh for the day of bugger off for the weekend.

Live life to the fullest. Why do we judge the worth of a life on the years rather than the fullness of the years.

Ageing....

Well turning 19 in a couple of days, scary thought and scary number. A lot has changed in the last year. Left school and taken some rather large steps into the big wide world. When one day your at prom and the next your on a bus to Holland with no intension of coming back for three months I think you can safely say your striking out on the independence front.

France was an interesting time for me and I never in the million years thought id want to go back but the odd thing is I kind of do. I think because I've been and seen a small part of what else is out there I’m getting sick of being stuck back in my home town again – sitting in limbo waiting for something to happen.

I want to travel; I want to take my friends to see the beautiful, romantic city that is Venice.

I want to show them the fountains in Rome.

I want to take them on a cruise, show them when a ship can be more than a ship.

Even the warm evening air in Glasgow felt nice and refreshing, a change of pace for me.

The thing is there is so much left to see. I want to see Germany and Holland, Belgium and Norway. The USA and Canada, I want the lights of Vegas and the tranquillity of the middle of nowhere, where you can see shooting stars.

I want to watch the sun come up, I want to camp in a tent and hear the world around me, in a house at night its too quite, the occasional thump as a floorboard expands, the gurgle of the radiators, its not the same as the sound of a fish jumping from a river or an owls calls at night.

In the last year I have experienced so much, independence and freedom, change and loss, friendship and love. I have learned and grown and I say – bring on the last of the teen years! Lord knows a lot is going to happen.